we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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