I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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