Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
