Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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