thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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