girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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