i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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