She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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