i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
