totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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