OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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