I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
