I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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