So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
