worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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