i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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