that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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