My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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