Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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