Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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