Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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