tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
do nipples grow back?
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