I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
