Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize