I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
im on a boat
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