It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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