Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
