Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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