I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
