College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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