we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
