so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
