I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
