I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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