Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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