Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
All I want is dick and wine.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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