Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
