you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
