Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
