Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's just like the Real World with babies
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
