Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
