My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
