ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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