So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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