Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
