oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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