so explain again why im purple
no
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
