Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
