thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I deserve this hangover.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
