if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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