someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize