everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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