I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
