He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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