Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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