we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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