After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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