Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
