You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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