At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
