I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize