There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize