rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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