u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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