Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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